Yep, there is perhaps a bigger consideration, and again, probably a by no means less common one. Perhaps indeed the one that differentiates the life less ordinary and the mid-life crisis. What if those around me do not share my ideals???
Scenario 1: A couple, probably young and without kids, decide to quit their jobs, sell their house, and set off a round the world for a life less ordinary. They are viewed as wild, crazy, amazing, adventurous, they have many well wishers and people are in awe of their bravery.
Scenario 2: A family man, who just so happens to be about 40, has the same desires only this time it is not shared by his family. He is viewed as having a mid-life crisis. He is no different from the young man from the first scenario but the reaction is far from similar. Even though he has diluted the big dream down to just wanting some ad-hoc travel, to do some zany things, to see and experience the world in small opportunistic doses the reception is still an adverse one.
"Are you f*cking mental?!?"
Ok, so it's not quite what my wife would say, she's far more eloquent than that, but I can already see it's going to be written right across her face. So far she's been subtly supportive and tried to understand and empathise with my mid-life .... re-evaluation. She's tolerated the introduction of ukuleles to the household, the poor substitute for my youthful dreams of being Slash. She's ignored the appearance of the canoe in the back garden. She's watched me disappear each evening in my quest to be 'fitter@40'. She didn't even bat an eye at me renewing my fishing licence that I bought last year and never used. But this time, I may just be stepping over a line.
Any mental argument that I've already talked myself through will be back with a vengeance and with re-enforcements. Even smaller considerations that I'm happy to gloss over, or do not consider an issue will be presented. I'm already aware that we are most likely not going to be singing from the same song sheet.
I recently spent much time convincing my wife to give camping a try. This is something I spent many happy holidays doing as a child but which is something she has only had two very negative experiences of. She finally has agreed to give it a try but I suspect this more an act of tolerance rather than a change of opinion.
Yep, I am now eluding to a bigger proposal, a change of lifestyle, and furthermore, her defensive stance will not be unjustified. You see the decisions that've been to date and resulting in this current life are not sole decisions. As a couple we decided to get married, buy a house, start a family. As a partner I decided to start a business. These are all things I opted into and effectively shook hands on. Is it unreasonable for me to start changing the agreements? How would I feel if the tables were turned?
Any attempt to explain or justify my thoughts will be met with short shrift. The first thing any persons does in an argument is to dig their (high) heels in at which point it becomes an almost impossible mission. No, if I want things to change then I am going to have sell the idea to my family and my biggest chance it prove that it can be done without sacrificing or negatively impacting anything we currently have.
Any mental argument that I've already talked myself through will be back with a vengeance and with re-enforcements. Even smaller considerations that I'm happy to gloss over, or do not consider an issue will be presented. I'm already aware that we are most likely not going to be singing from the same song sheet.
I recently spent much time convincing my wife to give camping a try. This is something I spent many happy holidays doing as a child but which is something she has only had two very negative experiences of. She finally has agreed to give it a try but I suspect this more an act of tolerance rather than a change of opinion.
Yep, I am now eluding to a bigger proposal, a change of lifestyle, and furthermore, her defensive stance will not be unjustified. You see the decisions that've been to date and resulting in this current life are not sole decisions. As a couple we decided to get married, buy a house, start a family. As a partner I decided to start a business. These are all things I opted into and effectively shook hands on. Is it unreasonable for me to start changing the agreements? How would I feel if the tables were turned?
Any attempt to explain or justify my thoughts will be met with short shrift. The first thing any persons does in an argument is to dig their (high) heels in at which point it becomes an almost impossible mission. No, if I want things to change then I am going to have sell the idea to my family and my biggest chance it prove that it can be done without sacrificing or negatively impacting anything we currently have.
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