Freedom of Speech

I grew up in a generation where everyone's grandparents had been part of the war effort. My Nan machined ammunition and both of my grandads fought in the war. I remember being told many times that this has been for our freedoms and the term 'freedom of speech' was bandied around a lot.

It's sad then now that we live in a time where a country like North Korea can try and dictate what films can be made and distributed, terrorists attack publishers and scare others into censorship but sadder is that the large organisations with the most clout and power seem to buckle and cower before the people on the street do. When events like this occur you MUST publish perhaps with even greater gusto to emphasise that they have will not be allowed to win.

More bizarrely is that we are increasingly being gagged by our own Government where people are have to be careful over their use of social media for fear of upsetting or offending people with their Tweets or status updates for fear of legal retribution.

Freedom of Speech means you will always be liable to offend someone. It also means you have to be prepared to let other speak freely whether you like or agree with them.

A quick note from your sponsor...

As every one jumps on the fitness bandwagon and starts signing up for events, a polite note regarding sponsorship requests. My chosen charities are NSPCC, Alzheimer's Society, Parkinson's UK, and The RNOH Charity . Like many I have leant towards those that I have a connection with. Where possible I have tried to support these by way of monthly direct debit as I believe this is most beneficial to them. In the past I have cancelled some of my direct debits and instead sponsored individuals as I felt bad turning them down and think it important to encourage people to support charities but cannot afford to do both. This of course has meant that I am supporting your chosen charities and not mine. By all means ask but please don't be offended if I decline your request.

Note:  I will be more inclined to sponsor events that pose a real physical or mental challenge e.g. NOT a 5k fun run.

P.S. and please whatever you do don't ask me to sponsor you so you can fulfill some bucket list item under the guise of charity, like a parachute jump. If you want to do a parachute jump pay for the cost of it yourself and put all sponsorship money to the charity (as well as your donation) instead of funding it out of the sponsorship money!

Intermittent Fasting

So..... two weeks into the 2012 Fat Dad's six pack challenge and I've gone from leading week 1 to trailing third in week 2. It's been an interesting week. Last weekend I stumbled across a website (http://rippedbody.jp/) that in turn lead me to another (http://www.leangains.com/) and an introduction to the concept of intermittent fasting. See above sites for more details as they can explain it far better than I.

Aside from the potential results (gaining muscle whilst losing fat and only training weights three times a week), what appealed to me was that the idea of an 8 hour eating window wasn't a million miles off of my current eating habits. I've never been one for breakfast so the idea of fasting for a 16 hour period then getting all of my food in in between the hours of 1pm and 9pm seemed do-able. Likewise the idea of training compound lifts 3 times a week suits me down to the ground.

I've always been anti-dieting and always viewed it as simply starving or depriving oneself of food but this approach seems more accommodating. However, I have been taken aback this week. In short the idea is I over-eat on training days with increased protein, high carbs and low fat. Then the next day, a rest day, I deficit my intake and go for protein but with low carbs and a more normal levels of fat. Seems straight forward enough.

In the past a normal work day eating pattern for me would be something like. Lots of coffee for breakfast, soup and a slice of bread for lunch, family dinner and then settle into the sofa with alcohol and crisps. Doesn't seem much but given that I've been gaining weight suggests that I have been eating more than my share of daily calories (approx. 2000).

So what soon hit me is that if you try and eat the appropriate levels of macro-nutrients (protein, carbs, fat) in the targeted proportions it equates to a lot of food. Most days I struggled to eat 1600 calories worth let alone my training day target of 2000+. They say 1g of protein or carbs = 4 calories, whereas 1g of fat = 9. So when you start watching your fat and lowering it you have to eat twice as much protein or carbs to replace it.

Case in point, I am struggling to come up with a 1000 calorie post-workout meal. A Burger King double whopper with cheese is 976 calories but has 61g of fat which accounts for 549 of its calories. On a training day I am only allowed about 30g of fat for the day. To put some perspective on it - 2 slices of rye bread toast, a large can of light choice baked beans, 2 turkey breast steaks, a four egg white omelette with low fat mature cheddar cheese, mushrooms, and tomatoes comes to 936 calories and only 11g of fat.

Seems the main problem I'm going to have dieting is eating so much!

Ukuleles are cool

'Nuff said.

A Year in Provence ... Part 2

So having rekindled my love affair with 'la bonne vie', what to do about it? Now I'm not naive, I know the dream often does not meet the reality. So let's start with what I did not like about my trip. 

Firstly, mosquitoes. I've always been some what of an attraction for these critters. Whilst my wife remained bite free, I was bitten to shreds and am still scratching myself raw. Secondly, the bloody cockerels waking me up at 05:30, and then virtually 'snoozing' to repeat their bird song every ten minutes. Now I think I was getting used to this as I seemed to notice it less and wake up later as the week went on. 

Finally, the sun. Yes the very thing that makes it so attractive. By 09:00 it was already on its way to 30. On such a short holiday you feel compelled to make hay, as they say, whilst the sun shines but it was far too hot some days and made for uncomfortable nights sleeping. Given more than a week I guess I would acclimatise more but at the same time would have to adopt a more European approach to the midday sun and escape it. 

From an economic point of view the pound is recovering, French property prices have been falling whilst French property taxes have been rising. In the past, UK ex-pats have often set up businesses to serve other ex-pats but with an increasing number of ex-pats returning to the UK this is hitting them. The other favourite is having holiday properties to let but there is already an abundance of these.

With all of the volatility in the EU at the moment the Euro has suffered and could further suffer if countries like Greece and Spain decline further. Ex-pat pensioners have already suffered with currency fluctuations. If the UK withdrew from the Euro zone then working and living in France would become even harder.

Divorce rates for couples who emigrate to France are high, chances of employment for non-French speaking persons are low. The French education system does not go out of its way to accommodate non-French speaking children often setting them back a year to compensate and not providing further help. Private schooling is better but only add to the cost of living.

So where does this leave my French dream? Well from a schooling point alone it puts it on hold until the kids finish school by which time I will be nearing retirement but I do not want to wait that long which brings us back to compromise. Being a home worker I can work from home, wherever that may be, as long as I have a decent internet connection. With kids being at school they have six weeks summer holiday each year. So I like the idea of letting a property for one month each year abroad. Maybe Provence one year, Tuscany another, Murcia the next, who knows.

But there remains an obstacle. Finance. My wife currently still needs to work and cannot get that much time off. So either she needs a job or business that allows her to work remotely or I need to earn enough for her not to work! Hmmmm......????

A Year in Provence ... Part I

... or at least a week in Poitou Charante but it's still time in France right? What a breathe of fresh air, quite literally, a family holiday in a rural gîte. 'Rustic' was initially the word of the week as it seemed to cover all manner of accommodation short comings but strangely as the week went on they seemed less relevant and our initial gripes were perhaps just residue of our normal life and expectations.

Like many, I long to escape the rat race and have often said that if I could live anywhere in Europe it would be about half way down France. From there you are but a days drive from Spain, Italy, Belgium, Holland, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Czech Republic, and the UK to name a few which makes it a perfect hub. A hub from which you readily gain access to beaches, lakes, rivers, snow capped mountains, or whatever other landscape takes your fancy. Furthermore, you can pick your climate. Further north for more 'English' weather, further south for more Mediterranean weather.

Waking up, an alfresco coffee and pain au chocolat for breakfast in the early morning sun and no further motivation was required for a run in the glorious and spectacular fields of sunflowers and vines. Admittedly I got a few strange looks from the local farmers (the French don't do exercise as a rule) but this did not deter me.

Upon my return a quick shower then into the swimming pool with the family for more 'exercise' under the guise of play. In fact I have come back browner, slimmer, and fitter. A break for a lunch of a baguette, fromage and jambon whilst escaping the too hot midday sun then a spot of sunbathing before plunging back into the pool to cool off. Come the evening and it's time to fire up the barbeque and start the drinks flowing. After managing to get the kids to settle in bed, some more drinking and socialising with guests from the neighbouring gîtes, and even a bit of impromptu ukulele! 

Finally, rounding the evening off lying on a blanket gazing at the truly magnificent night sky. The rural location being free from light 'pollution' the view was like someone had suddenly upgraded my usual night sky to HD, my eyes now free to see the milky way, satellites, shooting stars and constellations. This soon became part of the pre-bedtime ritual.

I wanted a holiday 'unplugged' and pretty much achieved this bar the quick email check and using an mp3 player for some tunes while chatting or catching up with some reading. The kids scraped through without iPads, pc's, DS's, or tv and thankfully since returning haven't demanded them back into their lives yet either. In fact before the holiday I couldn't get them out of the house, tonight I struggled to get them back in.

Simple pleasures indeed and I guess that's all I really desire. The French have always somehow managed to retain the appreciation of simple pleasures like food, wine, song and socialising. I liked the idea of living in France before, and I like the idea even more now.

The last word

It has to be said, some of the best conversations and some of the best ideas are the ones at the end of an evening on the drink. lol

Knowing your place

Well, we have managed to ship the kids off to the grandparents for the night. Last time this happened was on a Thursday which happens to be the night my wife does Body Pump and Body Combat. So faced with choosing between a few fours or torturous exercise or a romantic night out of course I lost out.

Tonight is a Wednesday so I do not have that to contend with. I therefore suggested doing something special like a trip into Windsor or London or maybe a drive down to the coast for fish and chips on the beach whilst watching the sunset. However, the sun is shining and my wife wants to sit in the sun not a car or train. Her alternative suggestion was to eat in the beer garden of the local Beefeater.

Of course, I tried to counter this with the offer of some other quality local restaurants but each was met with "Can we eat outside?". The answer in most cases being no. So I'm guessing the priorities so far must be something along the lines of:

1. Kids
2. Body Combat/Body Pump
3. Sunshine
4. Quality romantic time with me.

As good as it gets

"Look at me, jerking off in the shower... This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here. "

Kevin Spacey / American Beauty

Oops, wrong quote but similar sentiment ..

"What if this is as good as it gets? "

Jack Nicholson / As Good As It Gets

Isn't this what it's all about? Or at least a significant part of it. Doesn't this thought scare the sh!t out of us? Guess it depends upon the current state of 'this'.

One man can make a difference

Ok, time out for a quick example of a life less ordinary.

It always amazes me the concept that an individual can make a huge impact in their lifetime. It demonstrates the power that is within each of us. I'm not just talking about the likes of Gandhi, Bill Gates, Mother Theresa, Genghis Khan, etc and I'm especially not talking about celebrities though they sometimes do. 

Though their names don't always go down in history I'm talking about everyday folk, often unsung heroes, that we occasionally get to hear of. They exemplify the life less ordinary and yet in many ways what they do is ordinary and within all of us. Maybe it is how they do it, why they do it, but most notably is the effect they put it to.

Matt Harding is an example of this, and if you've not already visited his site then I implore you to www.wherethehellismatt.com . Here is a regular guy, doing something that any of us could of, but look at the effect that he has put a chance opportunity to. His 2008 video has been viewed over 43 million times! Put aside the how or the why and just look at the positive comments on his YouTube videos and Facebook page. His life is definitely less ordinary, and many people are appreciative of it.

Two sides to every story

Yep, there is perhaps a bigger consideration, and again, probably a by no means less common one. Perhaps indeed the one that differentiates the life less ordinary and the mid-life crisis. What if those around me do not share my ideals???

Scenario 1: A couple, probably young and without kids, decide to quit their jobs, sell their house, and set off a round the world for a life less ordinary. They are viewed as wild, crazy, amazing, adventurous, they have many well wishers and people are in awe of their bravery.

Scenario 2: A family man, who just so happens to be about 40, has the same desires only this time it is not shared by his family. He is viewed as having a mid-life crisis. He is no different from the young man from the first scenario but the reaction is far from similar. Even though he has diluted the big dream down to just wanting some ad-hoc travel, to do some zany things, to see and experience the world in small opportunistic doses the reception is still an adverse one.

"Are you f*cking mental?!?"

Ok, so it's not quite what my wife would say, she's far more eloquent than that, but I can already see it's going to be written right across her face. So far she's been subtly supportive and tried to understand and empathise with my mid-life .... re-evaluation. She's tolerated the introduction of ukuleles to the household, the poor substitute for my youthful dreams of being Slash. She's ignored the appearance of the canoe in the back garden. She's watched me disappear each evening in my quest to be 'fitter@40'. She didn't even bat an eye at me renewing my fishing licence that I bought last year and never used. But this time, I may just be stepping over a line.

Any mental argument that I've already talked myself through will be back with a vengeance and with re-enforcements. Even smaller considerations that I'm happy to gloss over, or do not consider an issue will be presented. I'm already aware that we are most likely not going to be singing from the same song sheet.

I recently spent much time convincing my wife to give camping a try. This is something I spent many happy holidays doing as a child but which is something she has only had two very negative experiences of. She finally has agreed to give it a try but I suspect this more an act of tolerance rather than a change of opinion.

Yep, I am now eluding to a bigger proposal, a change of lifestyle, and furthermore, her defensive stance will not be unjustified. You see the decisions that've been to date and resulting in this current life are not sole decisions. As a couple we decided to get married, buy a house, start a family. As a partner I decided to start a business. These are all things I opted into and effectively shook hands on. Is it unreasonable for me to start changing the agreements? How would I feel if the tables were turned?

Any attempt to explain or justify my thoughts will be met with short shrift. The first thing any persons does in an argument is to dig their (high) heels in at which point it becomes an almost impossible mission. No, if I want things to change then I am going to have sell the idea to my family and my biggest chance it prove that it can be done without sacrificing or negatively impacting anything we currently have.

Kicking the bucket list

Bucket lists. Is this what I need? I guess there is some similarity between the life less ordinary and a bucket list. The result of both is to look back on your death bed and think 'wow, I did a lot of fantastic things during my life' or maybe just have some great tales to tell the grand kids and the lads down the pub. 

The internet has allowed people to share their bucket lists and a number of books and magazine articles similarly publish lists of 'things you must do before you die'. A side effect of this is that it suggested ideas rather than prompting people to look at what THEY would really like to do. Writing this I can't help but keep thinking of 'swimming with dolphins', brain-washing in full effect.

My first issue I have with many bucket lists is the income levels required to complete them. Judging by many I've seen, the first item on my list should be 'make my millions' (or rob a bank) at which point the completing the rest of the list will become a whole lot easier. By publishing such lists they're effectively creating markets for experiences and we can't ignore the fact that everyone is after our hard earned cash these days. If there's a common desire amongst people then someone will have identified it as an income opportunity.

So for many bucket list items that were once symbolic of 'off the beaten track/life less ordinary' experiences have now become package holidays or off-the-shelf experience-in-a-box (or red letter) solutions. In doing so surely they have made less ordinary things ordinary!? Surely, this is robbing the experience of  it's very essence leaving you in the pub regaling your tale of glory only to have a friend interject with a 'yeah, I known a couple of mates that did that'.

The second key difference between a life less ordinary and a bucket list is that the bucket list has a deadline, quite literally as it happens. Deadlines are great, especially the whooshing sound they make as they whizz by, but that is part of the problem. Assuming my deadline is age 71 then I have thirty years to complete my list, plenty of time, now pass me a Pringle and we'll see what's on the tv. There lies the problem, we're back to doing our school homework at 10pm on a Sunday evening. Procrastination.

Yep, a life less ordinary is a way of life, not a check list. It's not about spreading the to-do list over my remaining time, it's about cramming as much fun into my life every year, month, week or day. Putting things off is how I got to this mid-life ... situation. No, what I need is not a bucket list but ideas. Ideas and self-discipline.

Simple disciplines practised daily

I think Jim Rohn might own that one.

Having determined a need to change my level of thinking, a need to say yes more, a need to consider reasons 'I should' do things as opposed to 'should not', how to go about it? I mean we're talking about a behavioural change, a change of habits, a change of spots! (Cue eating elephants and journey of a thousand miles quotes).

Changing habits and ingrained behaviour takes discipline, not something I've demonstrated much of in recent years unless Pringle eating is becoming an endurance sport. I mean let's face it that's why people go to fitness classes or have personal trainers. It's not that they don't want to get fit or lose weight. It's because they lack the discipline to DO what it takes, the others just walk on the treadmill for half an hour and tell all their friends how they go to the gym regularly but "just can't seem to shift the weight".

Which brings me on to my first challenge. I'm getting fat, I've being saying yes a lot to another beer on the sofa to wash down that other tube of Pringles I said yes to then popped and couldn't stop. Now we don't want any dramatic changes, I don't want to slip into crisis. So I'll probably still say yes to them but will try to say yes to the odd run in between.

Ok, so as a life less ordinary goes, saying yes to a 5km jog once or twice a week isn't exactly earth shattering (excluding the impact from my slightly over-weightedness). There is some logic there though. One, I need to boost my energy levels to fight off the general lethargy and two, I think I'll need some degree of fitness to do some less ordinary things.

A Life Less Ordinary

So now that my nemesis (time that is, not some baddie wearing pants over his trousers and a mask) has revealed itself to me, how to do battle with this foe?

Most of my thirties had been about being sensible (by my reckoning at least), starting a family, buying a house, starting a business, stopping man sports like crashing motorcycles at race tracks and aspiring to be Bruce Lee, etc. However, as I approached my forties, okay I guess there were some warning signs, I started to desire something else. Not different or instead of, but as well as. Sensible is nice, safe, secure, necessary but I felt an innate desire for what can best be described as 'a life less ordinary'. Okay so nothing ground breaking there, family man hits forty and wants more from life.

I've never been one to seek fame, fortune or wealth beyond my wildest dreams, not that I'm saying no if you're offering. I whole-heartedly believe life is about experiences, and the best are those involving or shared with other people. In my twenties I travelled Europe in a 1972 VW camper. It was great, I just followed my nose until the money ran out some months later. If I liked where I was I stayed a while, other days I'd wake up take out the map and just head some where new.

I travelled through Belgium, Holland, Germany, Czech Republic, Austria, Italy, France, Spain, Portugal and Gibraltar. Not knowing where to start I just hit all of the traditional tourist traps staying in recommended camp sites and following guide books. It was so text book that it wasn't at all uncommon to see other VW campers time and again all touring Europe like sheep and this isn't unique to travelling. I've seen many people go through life like it's a school project and they're just ticking off the boxes of things they believe, or society leads them to believe, they should do. Often without understanding the motive or consequence.

I used to have a friend just like this. It were as though life were a race to him and he was trying to get through it and tick all the boxes as quickly as possible. He finished school, went through college, straight into starting his career, found a girl got married and bought a house, started a family and this was just by the time he started his twenties. I felt if he'd have grown old and died by thirty he'd have declared himself the winner. It's cliché but I believe life is a journey and the key is to make it go as slowly as possible whilst cramming as many happy experiences in as possible.

It was only towards the end of my trip around Europe as the money started getting low that I started to go off the beaten track and really feel I was travelling, living even.  Free camping in some of the most amazing scenic spots, showering on the beach in the morning before the beach crowds arrived, filling up water and grabbing cheap meals where I could. Looking back I have very little recollection of the tourist attractions but yet I have the fondest memories of the people I met along the way and the times, often brief, that we shared.

Brett the amazing Kiwi I spent many a drunken evening with at the running the bulls in Pamplona, hitch hiking with a bunch of South Africans, being bought beers by a Guardia Civil in a shady bar before he took us to a great free camping spot. Hanging out with a bunch of surfers in Lagos. The local people at the various stop off's who were just so friendly. Just a few of the many many highlights when I look back. Perhaps the biggest irony is that it costs me more to sit in the rat race ticking over than it did to travel and have one of the best times of my life.

But we make choices in life, not bad but they have consequences or trade off's if you prefer. Some use the word sacrifice and refer to it as giving things up, but when you sacrifice you give something up for something better. Let's face it, nobody would make a sacrifice if they didn't think for one moment that they would be better off for it.

I love my family dearly and would not change my choices for the world but with the clock ticking, it presents a challenge. How can I live a life less ordinary without sacrificing or diminishing what I have? Please don't think this selfish either as, perhaps more importantly, I want to show my children how to live a life less ordinary so they can learn how to get the best from their lives as they get older. I wonder how many people are in the rat race just because that's what their parents did and they knew no different?