Ukuleles are cool

'Nuff said.

A Year in Provence ... Part 2

So having rekindled my love affair with 'la bonne vie', what to do about it? Now I'm not naive, I know the dream often does not meet the reality. So let's start with what I did not like about my trip. 

Firstly, mosquitoes. I've always been some what of an attraction for these critters. Whilst my wife remained bite free, I was bitten to shreds and am still scratching myself raw. Secondly, the bloody cockerels waking me up at 05:30, and then virtually 'snoozing' to repeat their bird song every ten minutes. Now I think I was getting used to this as I seemed to notice it less and wake up later as the week went on. 

Finally, the sun. Yes the very thing that makes it so attractive. By 09:00 it was already on its way to 30. On such a short holiday you feel compelled to make hay, as they say, whilst the sun shines but it was far too hot some days and made for uncomfortable nights sleeping. Given more than a week I guess I would acclimatise more but at the same time would have to adopt a more European approach to the midday sun and escape it. 

From an economic point of view the pound is recovering, French property prices have been falling whilst French property taxes have been rising. In the past, UK ex-pats have often set up businesses to serve other ex-pats but with an increasing number of ex-pats returning to the UK this is hitting them. The other favourite is having holiday properties to let but there is already an abundance of these.

With all of the volatility in the EU at the moment the Euro has suffered and could further suffer if countries like Greece and Spain decline further. Ex-pat pensioners have already suffered with currency fluctuations. If the UK withdrew from the Euro zone then working and living in France would become even harder.

Divorce rates for couples who emigrate to France are high, chances of employment for non-French speaking persons are low. The French education system does not go out of its way to accommodate non-French speaking children often setting them back a year to compensate and not providing further help. Private schooling is better but only add to the cost of living.

So where does this leave my French dream? Well from a schooling point alone it puts it on hold until the kids finish school by which time I will be nearing retirement but I do not want to wait that long which brings us back to compromise. Being a home worker I can work from home, wherever that may be, as long as I have a decent internet connection. With kids being at school they have six weeks summer holiday each year. So I like the idea of letting a property for one month each year abroad. Maybe Provence one year, Tuscany another, Murcia the next, who knows.

But there remains an obstacle. Finance. My wife currently still needs to work and cannot get that much time off. So either she needs a job or business that allows her to work remotely or I need to earn enough for her not to work! Hmmmm......????

A Year in Provence ... Part I

... or at least a week in Poitou Charante but it's still time in France right? What a breathe of fresh air, quite literally, a family holiday in a rural gîte. 'Rustic' was initially the word of the week as it seemed to cover all manner of accommodation short comings but strangely as the week went on they seemed less relevant and our initial gripes were perhaps just residue of our normal life and expectations.

Like many, I long to escape the rat race and have often said that if I could live anywhere in Europe it would be about half way down France. From there you are but a days drive from Spain, Italy, Belgium, Holland, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Czech Republic, and the UK to name a few which makes it a perfect hub. A hub from which you readily gain access to beaches, lakes, rivers, snow capped mountains, or whatever other landscape takes your fancy. Furthermore, you can pick your climate. Further north for more 'English' weather, further south for more Mediterranean weather.

Waking up, an alfresco coffee and pain au chocolat for breakfast in the early morning sun and no further motivation was required for a run in the glorious and spectacular fields of sunflowers and vines. Admittedly I got a few strange looks from the local farmers (the French don't do exercise as a rule) but this did not deter me.

Upon my return a quick shower then into the swimming pool with the family for more 'exercise' under the guise of play. In fact I have come back browner, slimmer, and fitter. A break for a lunch of a baguette, fromage and jambon whilst escaping the too hot midday sun then a spot of sunbathing before plunging back into the pool to cool off. Come the evening and it's time to fire up the barbeque and start the drinks flowing. After managing to get the kids to settle in bed, some more drinking and socialising with guests from the neighbouring gîtes, and even a bit of impromptu ukulele! 

Finally, rounding the evening off lying on a blanket gazing at the truly magnificent night sky. The rural location being free from light 'pollution' the view was like someone had suddenly upgraded my usual night sky to HD, my eyes now free to see the milky way, satellites, shooting stars and constellations. This soon became part of the pre-bedtime ritual.

I wanted a holiday 'unplugged' and pretty much achieved this bar the quick email check and using an mp3 player for some tunes while chatting or catching up with some reading. The kids scraped through without iPads, pc's, DS's, or tv and thankfully since returning haven't demanded them back into their lives yet either. In fact before the holiday I couldn't get them out of the house, tonight I struggled to get them back in.

Simple pleasures indeed and I guess that's all I really desire. The French have always somehow managed to retain the appreciation of simple pleasures like food, wine, song and socialising. I liked the idea of living in France before, and I like the idea even more now.

Onward Christian soldiers

My wife, like many others, has fallen for the "mommy porn" 50 Shades of Grey trilogy and like many husbands and boyfriends there have been positive side effects. For example, on her first night of reading I had been down the pub with friends. Now under normal circumstances when I creep in from the pub late, with all of the subtleness of a hippopotamus ninja,s he would always be asleep, or at least pretending to be asleep, but no not that night ;o)

But here we are once again with a sense of frustration. One friend was moaning on Facebook how despite his wife reading 50 shades he was yet to reap him any rewards. One female friend responded to the thread that "if you want your wife to act a bit more like Ana, try acting a bit more like Mr Grey". 

Now, despite already benefiting from positive side effects, this sounded like good advice coming straight from the horses mouth. So with this idea in mind I send my wife a text, nothing brash (Mr Grey is too sophisticated for that). Far from a hot lustful reply the response I get was along the lines of  "Lol, so anyway ...".

There you go, dismissed in an instant. It's all very well you ladies rattling on about what you want from us men but first you're going to have to learn to recognise it when your presented with it!

A breath of fresh air

I've always believed that we should derive the greatest pleasures in life from the simplest of things. Thanks to capitalism, we do seem to have to pay for most things these days but they do still say the best things in life are free. Following my post about living in a box, I've noticed something very simple that gives me a lot of pleasure. Fresh air.

At present I have a stinking cold and the accompanying lethargy. However, due to the extremely high levels of rain this year not only have my lawns been thriving, I haven't had a chance to cut them for over a month. Although, I like the idea of gardening my motivation is usually embarrassment. Unfortunately for me, and my neighbours, I do seem to live in a neighbourhood were people take some pride in their house and I suspect a touch of underlying one-up-manship in a few cases. The fact that the appearance of my house is not high up on my agenda right now must annoy a few them, particularly during the recent Euro 2012 where we alone proudly hung out the St. George's cross introducing a level of chaviness to the street.

So despite being knackered and snotty yesterday I felt compelled to try and at least cut the front lawn which was looking more like a meadow or nature reserve. Though I got rained on briefly, I found the fresh air wonderful. 

As a kid I was very ourdoorsy. I camped, went fishing, enjoyed cycling and the likes. I was lucky that across the road from our house were woodlands and fields and often, especially at weekends and during holidays, I would have breakfast and set off to play in the great outdoors not returning until it was time for supper. I guess, in this respect, I spent much of this time looking at, smelling, feeling, listening to nature and I miss these simple pleasures.

From time to time when I have mustered up the energy for a run I enjoy running cross-country and it acts as a brief reminder of these happy times. Running by the river is what prompted me to get some fishing gear again, and also to dig out my old canoe. I've yet to find the time to use them but just having them as an option feels good.

This morning I had to take one of the cars for an MOT. Whilst I waited I took advantage of the complimentary coffee and sat out on their little patio. Despite being in the middle of an industrial estate, once again the breathe of fresh air was good, slightly tinged with industrial-ness, but still good. Maybe even just the feel of a breeze works.

As good as it gets

"Look at me, jerking off in the shower... This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here. "

Kevin Spacey / American Beauty

Oops, wrong quote but similar sentiment ..

"What if this is as good as it gets? "

Jack Nicholson / As Good As It Gets

Isn't this what it's all about? Or at least a significant part of it. Doesn't this thought scare the sh!t out of us? Guess it depends upon the current state of 'this'.

Is the glass half empty or half full?

I had a discussion with a very good friend of mine in the pub about this. We both have similar incomes, are married, have kids, nice homes and in many ways our lives are similar. However, where as he fills totally fulfilled I do not. I must stress as I did with he that this in no way means that I do not love my family or life any less. I believe my family mean every bit as much to me as his does to him and in that respect are wholly equal.

I've had similar discussions with other friends and sometimes, strangely, it seems a bone of contention. Some, particularly wives, seem outraged that I should possibly want more than I have, more than they have (or perhaps just dislike me for prompting their husbands to consider the question). Yet at the same time I feel, probably unjustifiably, they're often trying to convince themselves that what they have is enough and that agreeing or empathising with me would be acknowledging a lack of fulfilment. 

The truth is I think neither is true. As we're talking about a pub conversation let's put it into a pub context. Let's suppose that two men both order half a pint of beer. One person has his served in a half pint glass which is full, the other has a pint glass that is half empty/full (not going to get into that one). Both have equal quantities of beer, but one has the capacity for more and hence has a feeling that there is room for more.

To be honest I was quite pleased with my analogy but this seemed to anger some even more. How dare I suggest that my glass was larger than theirs, blah, blah, rant! Guess there's no pleasing some people ....

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

If you're not familiar with this then do Google it. I won't go into detail or any arguments about its validity other than I think he had something there. The basic premise is that there is a hierarchy to humans needs both physically and emotionally, and that there is an order to the need we feel to fulfil them. At the bottom of the pyramid is the most basic human physiological needs like food, drink, sleep etc then safety needs, the need to belong, the need for self-esteem and at the top self-actualisation.

So as I approach mid-life I've managed to get a lot of the basic needs covered and having fulfilled these given myself a swift pat on the back. So what next?  Perhaps like others at this stage I start to feel a void as the need to fulfil the next 'level' becomes apparent. Think of it as not feeling the need for dessert until you've had your main course. It's only through the fulfilment of lower needs that I start to sense the lack of fulfilment of those higher up the chain.

So is this also part of the middle life crisis? Have I had my head down for so long at the grindstone that I am only just beginning to raise my eyes up and look to the horizon? Only now that I've started putting the 'needs' to bed that I start looking the to the 'likes' or the 'wants'? Is it only now that I start questioning  whether my glass is half full?